Punk rock dating chapter 73

Punk rock dating chapter 73: The Final Countdown (cue synthesized trumpet fanfare)...


How to die:

Here it was...Under our noses the whole time...

...Not that I had a nose anymore, being merely encoded digital information and all...

...Technicalities aside...

Escorpion flipped the switch. An uneasy hum emanated from the device...

"That thing's going to kill billions of people! Dorothy...You must get me over to the bomb! Project 54 must commence NOW!"

Ah, Project 54, a secret weapon forged in the hedonistic fires of a famed Manhattan Nightclub...

Marie Lansing watched calmly as chaos erupted around her...

She looked over at Julie hiding under a table while Dorothy and I fought countless Billy boys...

She looked over at Clement Allsworth attempting to persuade a pack of Werewolves not to bite him...

She looked over at Docteur Coorgan...oh, wait...he was nowhere to be seen...Typical...

She looked out the window and could plainly see the house she grew up in...Painful memories of her Parents...Her disconnected days at Altoona High School...Her adolescent rejection...Endless suburban desolation...

Something snapped inside of Marie. The former ice queen began to melt...Her blood pressure rose...Her immaculate capped teeth began to grind..A veil of red burned behind her violet eyes...

"THAT'S IT!" rose a bellowing scream from the pit of her stomach. "Nobody fucks with my neighborhood!"

She raced toward Escorpion as fast as she could, tackling him with such force they both fell to the ground. She began raining blows on his remaining heads. Pounding! Pounding! Pounding!

However, Escorpion was still able to get a decent grip around her delicate neck and began to crush her windpipe...

But for now, Marie had successfully distracted Escorpion! Dorothy and I fought our way to the H.O.T Bomb which continued to mournfully sing its dire song...

Dorothy pointed her gun at the Werewolf that had Clement cornered and fired. With a single shot the Wolf fell dead.

Clement looked over at Dorothy and brushed the dust of battle off his dull-brown elephant-corded jacket. "Marry me." He proposed.

"Maybe later! We need you over here now!"

Clement hobbled over to the H.O.T Bomb.

"Mr. Allsworth!" I called to him. "Do you still have 'Punk rock dating' memorized?"

"Uhhh....yea...Nothing ever leaves once it gets up here," said Clement pointing at his head.

"God bless ya, Mr. Allsworth!" I would have given him a mostly heterosexual kiss if I still had lips. "We're going to have to take some shortcuts, but it should work! The H.O.T Bomb is built on the same technology as Aigipan's Psychic Projector...We don't have the 54 drive but I think we can bypass that problem!"

"How?" How-ed Clement.

"Wire me into the H.O.T Bomb..." I explained.

"I got ya," Clement smiled and began rewiring the bomb. Dorothy stood guard, wasting any SCORPIO agent unlucky enough to interfere with our mission.

Escorpion was still struggling with Marie on the floor when he noticed us defusing the bomb.

"Fools!" He crowed though a mouthful of broken teeth. "It's too late! The psychic blast cannot be stopped now! And once it projects the 'Mind Death' you're going to die! I'm going to die! We're all going to die!!!!"

Marie punched him squarely in the face to shut him up, but he still held Marie's throat in his powerful grip. Her initial blast of adrenalin had subsided and she was beginning to lose consciousness. Her frail limbs went limp...Her eyes rolled back into her head...

"Yes! Die, Marie Lansing! Feel the comfort of death's embrace...A warm flood..." Escorpion licked his bloody lips.

It was then that Julie Hales came out of her hiding place and stabbed Escorpion in the neck with a shard of sharp glass from a shattered retro-chic lava lamp."

Escorpion let loose a terrible howl, spanned his leathery wings and flew out the broken front entrance.

Dorothy followed him out into the yard, and continued firing at him as he vanished...

CRACK!

A fatal shot to Escorpion's second head...

With the exit of Escorpion, the remaining agents of SCORPIO adopted their dark leader's cowardly retreat...

We had defeated Escorpion and sent SCORPIO running, but unfortunately this was no time to rejoice...There remained the difficult task of disarming the H.O.T Bomb...The device could go off at any moment...

Julie helped Marie to her feet. The blood vessels in her eyes had burst from oxygen deprivation.

"Is it true what Escorpion said?" she asked in a choking rasp. "Is it too late to stop the H.O.T Bomb from detonating?"

"From detonating? Yes...The "Mind Death' will be transmitted into the thoughts of everyone...But I have discovered a higher psychic power...One that counter-acts its fatal touch... A telepathic transmission so powerful it can overcome any adversity..."

"And what is that?" asked Julie...



Join us tomorrow when we find out what "that" is...