Punk Rock Dating Chapters 59-63

Punk rock dating chapter 59: Sloping Landscapes...

Dorothy movin' on up to the Hampty Hamps:

Dorothy and Aigipan walked into the wet shock of night... Sidewalks painted a richer black by the sopping brush of rain, the blurred neon, the usual tropes...

Dorothy held her umbrella, sheltering her and Aigipan from the downpour. "I have a lot of problems with SCORPIO," she admitted.

"I do too! As lovely and charming as you are you're not going to convince me to negotiate with those terrorists..."

"Why are they terrorists?"

They sheltered themselves beneath an awning.

"You DON'T consider the H.O.T bomb project terrorism?"

"I guess...I don't know much about it."

"A bomb that projects psychic death in a radius that covers about two thirds of the world...Essentially resulting in the brain death of billions of people?!?!"

Dorothy laughed, "I don't think we'd do that... I mean wouldn't we die too?"

Aigipan smiled at Dorothy's naivete. "It won't destroy the entire world. Where do you think Escorpion's going to be? We at the House of Capricorn do value the Laws of Nature higher than the artificially imposed laws of man but...Jesus, we don't go to such extremes..."

The thrill of playing dress-up faded a little...

Aigipan became defiant, "We will never forfeit the technology of the psychic projector to SCORPIO! You can tell Escorpion to come and talk to me personally! I'll tell that to his face...all three of them!"

"I can assure you the goals of SCORPIO have changed! Escorpion himself has told me that their psychic persuasion techniques have been retired..."

"Bullshit," Aigipan laughed. "He needs the technology for the H.O.T project... Wow, you're new to this gig, eh, Dorothy?"

Dorothy hated to admit it, "Yes...this is my first mission."

"And they didn't teach you anything?"

"I.."

Aigipan became concerned.

"Dorothy...get out of this game...it's not for squeamish children...None of the houses are clean... Hell, none of the world's NATIONS are clean! You're a bright kid! Get out!"

Dorothy huffed, "Now listen here! I'm not a squeamish child! I was chosen for a reason! I know all about the H.O.T bomb project! I may look inexperienced but I'm not! I think you've underestimated me, Aigipan, or whatever your name is..."

Aigipan was amused. "Perhaps I have..."

Dorothy was bluffing of course...

"For your sake, Dorothy, I will meet with Escorpion...His game plan, sending you and his claims of change...They have intrigued me. I too am a curious child...about to be stung..."

Dorothy bravely swallowed the lump in her throat, "SCORPIO will be pleased to hear this...We anxiously await a new era of peace between the houses of SCORPIO and CAPRICORN..."

Aigipan politely shook her hand and danced away into the night...

....................................................................................................................

Dorothy walked into her empty apartment, a mob of cats came to greet her, they criss-crossed around her feet, awaiting the hand that feeds Tender Vittles...

"Was your mission successful?"

Dorothy wasn't expecting any guests, especially this one :

"Escorpion! What are you doing here?"

"A SCORPIO agent is always on a mission,"
Escorpion had helped himself to a Martini. One mouth took an elegant sip, the other mouth plucked the olive from the skewer, the third mouth hummed an old Dean Martin tune.

"Yes," Dorothy was still shaken but determined to keep it together. "Aigipan has agreed to meet you... He will arrive at the Artemis World Headquarters at Midnight Tomorrow. He said he would have arranged for an earlier time but he has a concert to preform..."

"Very good...He has turned away every other attempt at a treaty. I'm sure this time he will come around to our way of thinking..."

"And what is our way of thinking?" Dorothy asked sincerely.

"When all has gone wrong, start over." Escorpion tossed Dorothy a dossier. "This is your next mission...you may be familiar with the target..."

Dorothy officially realized she was in over her head.

"The Commissioner..."

"Yes, your Father's old friend... Don't worry he's not to be harmed...You are just going to extract some information..."

"What kind of information?"

"Information on Professor Patina's final project, Project Binary Brain Tree. If we can find out what Patina has done with himself...If his mind and soul are still intact somewhere ...My God! The knowledge we could gain! The H.O.T bomb would be ready well before the turn of the next century..."

Dorothy stretched out on her leather couch, " I've been hearing talk of this H.O.T bomb scheme.."

"Oh yes?" all three of Escorpion's heads snapped to attention. "Who else spoke of it?"

"Aigipan..."

"Hmmm. Aigipan knows? It's actually a secret project. Word must have leaked. We must take better measures to keep our many projects secure..."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Oh...Nothing to worry about...there will be very little destruction. The world will still look exactly like you remember it but the big difference will be that all the greed and evil will have vanished... An everlasting world peace...The Sacred Grove..."

"I hear it's more of a sacred grave..." Dorothy lazily picked up the remote control and switched on some cheap late night movie...

"Is this what Aigipan has told you? It's true... There will be some lives lost...But that is the way of this sometimes cruel world...Have you not been treated cruelly your entire life for the pleasure and profit of those in power? Would you truly have any moral qualms about eliminating those people responsible for the degradation of you and this planet?"

Dorothy thought hard about it, the flickering monster movie danced across her face. "No."

"Then we are on the exact same page."

There were two things bothering Dorothy:

Number 1. The Commissioner was a close family friend. The Father she never had. There was no way she could harm him....

Number 2. The dubbing in the monster movie was totally off... She preferred subtitles...

She had to say something...

"The Commissioner is a good man..."

"The best...I agree...That's why he is to come to absolutely NO harm on this mission... Our differences are strictly ideological. He would be skeptical if I approached him, but he trusts you...It would be very effective if you were to come to him as an old friend... "

"So, I'm going to betray his trust?"

"No! Listen, the Commissioner is old guard...Even your Father had some disagreements with him! He was responsible for ejecting your Father from LIBRA..."

"Is that true?"

"Yes... Your father was forced to resign from LIBRA in the early eighties...The Houses had found ourselves in a new world and the Commissioner couldn't cope with the rules...Orion rose against him and was cut down...The information that the Commissioner is hiding is too important not to be shared! Read your file tonight and tomorrow morning you're to get on a bus to Kentucky and pay a surprise visit to the old Commissioner. Get the information by any means necessary..."

"..Except murder..."

"Oh, of course..." Escorpion clarified.

"Of course."

Escorpion threw his coat over his shoulder, drank the last of his martini and made his way to the door.

"Dorothy, this place is not fit for a SCORPIO agent...You are to move into one of the Artemis mansions in the Hamptons... It will be ready by the time you return from your mission..."

As the door slammed, Dorothy pulled a blanket over herself and fell asleep with no problems...

...no problems at all...



Tomorrow we catch up with that old Northern Gentlemen, the Commissioner, he's a little bit older and a lot less Northern than he used to be...


Punk rock dating chapter 60: The Battalion of Banjos...

Old Friends:

The Commissioner answered the door, "Can I help you?"

"Yes," replied Dorothy. "I know I haven't seen you in a long time but I have to speak to you..."

"D-dorothy?" The Commissioner hardly recognized her, he hadn't seen her since the funeral, and was shocked at how much she resembled Bernadette (truth be told she didn't resemble me much, except for the slight greenish tint of her hair...).

Dorothy was likewise surprised at the Commissioner, he was a little bit older and a lot less Northern than he used to be. His hair a shock of white cotton. His favorite uniform no longer his rumpled old raincoat, but a white southern Colonel's uniform... the smoldering stub of his cigar was familiar however.

"Yes...I think I might be in over my head..," Dorothy bit her lip, frightened...

"Come in, girl...come in..."

Dorothy walked into the grand living room of the Commissioner's large historic plantation, the rich refractions of the glass chandelier, fragrant knotty pine furniture, indoor whiskey still...

"What a beautiful home..."

"Yes...It's funny, I lived in New York so damn long I had no idea such a sweet life existed...I always felt like I should be somewhere else...LIBRA gave me a tidy sum for my retirement so I left the hotplate in my apartment and started a new life here in Kentucky...."

"Commissioner...it's so good to see you again..." she threw her arms around him, sunk her head into his barrel chest and started sobbing...

"Now, now...what is there to be so upset about?" he patted her back reassuringly.

"I...I...SCORPIO...I...I accepted their offer to be an agent..."

"Oh, dear..." the Commissioner shuddered.

"I can't do it...The things they want me to do! You've got to help me get out..."

He held her tighter and whispered into her ear gently, "Did they send you here, honey?"

Dorothy nodded her head.

"I see. I think I know what this is about..."

The Commissioner let her go and walked into his den, Dorothy followed closely behind....

"I believe this is probably what they're looking for..."

He unwrapped a small device, about the size of a one inch penis....

Her eyes grew wide. "What is that?"

"I'm not too hot with all this technology bullshit the kids are into these damn days," said the Commissioner, reverting back to the gruff demeanor that he unsuccessfully tried to hide behind a superficial wall of manners, "The 10 picabyte MP3 Player... I think they call it..."

"What?"

"This is where that fruity Professor downloaded himself...Right before his death... He's still in here. Go ahead, talk to him..."

Dorothy put in the earbuds...

"Hello, Dorothy...It's good just to hear your voice again..."

Dorothy gasped, "I heard my Father talk about this...but I never imagined..."

"Yes...It can be quite a quite startling...Talking to someone that you know to be dead," said the Professors electronic voice. "But I'm not dead, Dorothy. My mind and soul live on... In this MP3 player."

Dorothy felt a weird mix of elation and disgust... The promise of immortality was exhilarating indeed, but the cheapness of a man forever trapped in a some electronic trinket was slightly demeaning....

"There is something else you must know, Dorothy..."

Dorothy was afraid to ask...."Wh-what?"

"Your Father...I'm fairly certain he used this technology also..."

Dorothy dropped the Mp3 player... Luckily late 21st century technology was a little better than what we have now...

...the player only suffered a slight crack in the casing...I'm certain it would be covered under the warranty...

Oh yea, and the fall also caused a skip in the track containing Patina's Graduation day...

"Why would you hand this over to me?" cried Dorothy, appalled at their carelessness. "I told you I'm an agent of SCORPIO..."

"You're the daughter of Orion..." assured the Commissioner, "The greatest man who ever lived...We know you will ultimately make the right decision..."

Dorothy wasn't so sure...

"Even so...the E.S.Pies are everywhere...I'm sure they're following me!"

"Do not be zo sure, jeune dame..."

Dorothy was relieved to see an old familiar figure descend the staircase clutching a baguette and wearing a "Jerry Lewis Fan Club" button....

"Dr. Coorgan!" she exclaimed!

"Oui...Why do you think the E.S.Pies have not been able to read your mind, hmmm?"

She gave him a hug, "You've been following me?"

"Oui."

"Then you know I'm not to be trusted..."

"I think you are what us French call...confus!"

"No...I..." Dorothy, embarrassed, grabbed the MP3 player and bolted out the front door...

Dr. Coorgan shot the Commissioner a worried look:

"We should give chase, No?"

"No, Doc..." The Commissioner lit up a new cigar, "It's outta our hands now... Dorothy's gotta play her part..."

"I do not think theez was in ze script..."



Join us tomorrow for the man in the moon and spoon and spoon and spoon....


Punk rock dating chapter 61: She's My Sweetheart...

Intuitive Psychology:

Actually, Docteur Coorgan was wrong. All this actually was in the script...

Chronos throws the dice but he already knows the outcome, whispered sweetly into the ears that care to hear... My telepathy was relatively weak...I could hear a slight murmur when the snow-globe I found myself in finally settled... The silence that cuts that everyday buzz...My eardrums, ready to pop with the clangor of nothing at all...Some are weak, some adept... Dorothy, with a little more confidence, could probably hear the whisper. Marie Lansing on the other hand spoke the mind fluently, she read the cues that careless others cast off like blazing beacons...

with bacon...

She looked at whoever she wanted and got mostly whatever she wanted. It's only easy to be blindsided when you are so nearsighted.

Docteur Coorgan, cleared the decks and heard the symphony of silence. Sculpted it into a sailboat and simply sailed away...

The lush tropics of the mind, twisted jungles of jumbled memories...What monsters lie in there!

.......................................................................................................................

The Scrawled Commandment:

Dorothy had been on the Greyhound bus back to New York for a good three hours when the hooded man sat next to her....

"Dorothy...the mission was a success I take it..."

"I'm afraid it wasn't," Dorothy yawned, "The Commissioner is old now...He's not the man I once knew... He was confused...He didn't seem to know anything about Professor Patina's project..."

The hooded figure was disturbed. "I find this perplexing...Our intelligence seemed to indicate otherwise..."

"Well," said Dorothy, closing her eyes to sleep. "Time to get some new intelligence..."

"Suppose you are to blame, Dorothy..."

She opened one eye.

"What do you mean?"

The hooded man leaned in closer, "Suppose you made yourself obvious....Or even worse.... You have betrayed us...."

The knot in Dorothy's throat became a closed fist...

"Escorpion... I know you don't trust me yet....You have no real reason to... But let's say the Professor's experiment was successful! Let's say that his mind is still alive somehow and we are able to retrieve it! What then? The Commissioner said Patina is loyal to LIBRA... He wouldn't help you develop a weapon...."

The jagged laughter of three mouths shook the bus, "O Dorothy...we have ways of making the soul talk! Let's say the Professor has downloaded his soul into a computer... His perverted science has cheapened him...Made him a computer program essentially... Well, SCORPIO programmers have devised a virus... Specifically created to corrupt the various files that constitute consciousness..."

Dorothy ran her fingers through her green hair... "But all this is pointless... We don't have Patina's soul... From the sounds of it he never finished the project or if he did we don't know where he hid the information..."

“Yes..." Escorpion put his hands behind his heads and relaxed a bit, "I will have another agent revisit the Commissioner...See if he is able to get a little more information... maybe some slow psychic torture will be more effective...Meanwhile I need you to go on another mission for me... To prove your mettle..."

"Anything..."

"First I command you to spend a few days in your new home...Soak in the good life for a bit...Partake of the material pleasures I have bestowed upon you... Drink the finest wines.. Eat the richest foods... Make love day and night to the other beautiful people... And I want you to take note of how meaningless it all becomes... See what dark places your mind will take you when all your appetites are met and you must move into ever more extreme realms to derive pleasure..."

Dorothy stared out the window...

The blurred landscape a smeared canvas...

"And Dorothy..."

"Yessir?"

"I want you to take good notes..."



Join us tomorrow (I promise) as miraculously I get a chapter completed...



Punk rock dating chapter 62: Do the Pivot...

Dorothy loses her shit:

Scene: Some lame coke party at the Montauk Yacht Club in the Hamptons.

Dorothy was at a banquet table piling in Amuse-bouches when she saw a rugged, good looking guy bragging to another guest about his Feretti 620.

Dorothy made her way over to this handsome asshole to introduce herself...

"Hello...I'm Dorothy..."

"Well, well ,well...My name is Thomas Brookshore. And to what do I owe the great pleasure of meeting such a stunning young creature?"

"I just saw you from across the room and I couldn't help hearing about your boat. I'm a sailing enthusiast too and just wanted to know...Are you into competitive yachting or is it just a recreational thing or...?"

She could actually care less about sailing.

All she wanted was a deep dicking.

"Oh, I just boat for pleasure...My business keeps me quite busy and the only activity that really helps me unwind is an afternoon on the Atlantic on my boat. The rhythm of the waves...the sound of the surf against the bow...the smell of salt in the air...I mean...that is living!"

"What company do you work for?" Dorothy asked, sipping her Courvoisier.

"Well...I work for myself...I actually own my own stock brokerage firm," he explained. "Even with the significant decline in the market we still were able to pull in our highest third quarter profits in five years..."

Dorothy's soul yawned. She decided it was time to cut the shit.

"Are you involved with anyone?" She asked.

Thomas thought it about it for a second. "No...I know it sounds corny but I just haven't been able to find Mrs. Right...You know...Someone I can share my life with...Someone I can take out on a moonlight cruise on the bay...Sipping Mojitos..."

"Well," said Dorothy finishing off her brandy, "I might not be big on Mojitos but my blowjobs are impeccable..."

Thomas' wang gave a standing ovation.

"So, do I have the job?" Dorothy asked coyly.

.........................................................................................

Over the next couple months Thomas and Dorothy would get together every Wednesday afternoon and fuck. It was mostly just a meaningless thing for Dorothy.

But not meaningless to Thomas. You see, there was something Dorothy didn't know. Thomas wasn't some entrepreneurial stockbroker. He was more of a...

...How do you say it?

Ah yes...

...He was more of a dishwasher at Carmine's Artificial Italian Restaurant.

On weekends he would rent a tux and pretend to be some hotshot self-made millionaire at ridiculously pretentious yacht parties, where he would prey on gullible rich women.

Thomas only wanted money.

Dorothy had some suspicions that Tom wasn't quite who he claimed to be. For one, she had never seen him pick up the bill at a restaurant. There were also a few instances where he would ask her to invest money in some vague new business he was starting. This wasn't anything new to Dorothy.

She noticed that since she acquired her wealth everybody wanted something from her. But none of this really bothered her. After all, it wasn't her money. SCORPIO was footing the bill. So long as she got something out of it Dorothy didn't mind....

..................................................................................

It was a typical Wednesday.

Dorothy had just invited Thomas into her plush pink bedroom for an afternoon of indoor activities.

Dorothy was unbuttoning Thomas's fly when she noticed something different.

"Thomas...that ring..." she shuddered.

Thomas' jaw (and penis) dropped. He was caught. He had simply forgotten to take off his wedding ring.

His mind raced for an answer.

"Ahhh...yea...It's a prop...We're doing a Clement Allsworth play down at the yacht club and I got the lead role...and..."

Dorothy raised an eyebrow.

"Screw it. You're right," he sighed. "I'm full of shit...Listen, Dorothy, I'd lie to you if I thought you'd believe it, but...There's something I've got to tell you..."

"You're married?!"

"Yes...for the last five years."

Thomas sat on the bed next to Dorothy, zipping his fly back up.

"What's her name?" Dorothy asked.

"Jeanette. We were high school sweethearts. Five years ago I decided to make an honest woman out of her..." Thomas chuckled.

Dorothy wasn't laughing. She lit up a cigarette. "Any kids?"

"No... Not yet...She wants kids but I'm not sure if I'm ready...I'm not in any financial position to take care of anyone else..."

Dorothy took a deep drag from her Marlboro.

"So you you don't work on Wall Street either, I take it. "

Thomas felt ashamed for the first time in his life. "Uhhh....no... Charlotte street. "

"Why'd you do it, Tom? If that's even your real name..."

"No. My name really is Tom....I guess I did it because I needed the money....It's hard taking care of a family on minimum wage...but that doesn't mean our time together wasn't special...You're a gorgeous girl, Dorothy...I mean, your green hair...it drives me wild..."

Dorothy felt a small fraction of guilt that she had been having sex with a married man but more than anything she just felt horny. She had already done the deed several times so what difference did it make now?

She stubbed out her cigarette and chopped a small line on her compact mirror. The fraction of guilt disappeared.

"Tom?" she sniffed.

"Yes, Dorothy?"

"I want you to fuck me and call me 'Jeanette.'"

Tom was happy to oblige...


Join us tomorrow so you can read another chapter that ends with "Join us tomorrow" and get lost in the cyclical infinitude of it all...



Punk rock dating chapter 63: The Nature of Control...

Dorothy's notes got a little blurry:

New Years Eve 2007 :

11: 30 P.M:

6 Months after the Kentucky Mission:

From the safe distance of the midnight balcony, Dorothy and the marble statue stared at the flashing city in cold detachment ...

It had been a long year...

A tide of 1996 Chauteau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion, blood red on her lips... The loose change slipping through her fingers were the days... Every morning she'd awake to the static shards behind her eyes, a bedful of eccentric husbands and exotic wives...She shooed them away at roughly 3 in the afternoon... They fluttered out the window on a gust of old money...

..But that year was over, and 2008 weighed heavy on this night.

Dorothy was high, but unsociable... She sipped her drink and sighed, basking in the comfortable weight of magnificent loneliness...

She felt herself cringe when she heard Marty's voice from behind, "Wow...I haven't seen you much lately... But it looks like you've done just fine for yourself."

Dorothy pretended to smile, "Yes, Marty... What do you need?"

"Need?" he laughed, "I don't need anything! I'm doing just great! Me and Leslie just got engaged..."

He held up his hand, revealing a cheap ring.

Dorothy's smile turned real, her heart hurt as she didn't know whether to honestly congratulate him on the good news or laugh at the quaint ring.

"That's good to hear..." she took another sip from her drink.

"It's weird telling you this...I don't know how to say this but..."

Dorothy didn't know what was coming next...this excited her.

"...I always thought you and me would kind of end up together one day... but I couldn't tell you...I didn't know how..." he continued, "I shouldn't say anything ...I don't know why I did...The drinks, maybe..."

Dorothy looked across the room at Leslie... A beautiful girl, squirming in her insecurities...

Then Dorothy looked back at Marty...Didn't want him at all...Only wanted to feel something, "I always liked you too..."

Leslie caught a glimpse of them out of the corner of her eye, a flash of worry in her face...

"I...gotta get back to Leslie...Listen, I'll see you at the Literary Choice awards...Maybe we'll talk more then..."

Marty shook as he walked away.

Dorothy was somewhat surprised he didn't hit her up for money...

"Dorothy," cried an electronic voice from her purse.

"What do you want to nag me about now?" she seethed through clenched teeth.

"I think we're losing you..." the MP3 player pointed out.

She rolled her eyes, "For Chrissakes, Patina... I can't take all this anymore! The phony friends! The begging! Boring! Boring! Boring! I have to keep myself medicated just so I don't go insane!"
She took another pull from her glass. Another line from her purse....

"You're that unhappy?" Patina asked.

"Yes!"

"Then leave it all behind."

"I can't," she sniffed. "I'm not going back to what I had before."

"What did you have before?"

The pain of the memory made Dorothy smile, "Nothing. I had absolutely nothing. No friends, no family... Everyone went out of their way to humiliate me... I was dead, Professor! Dead inside! I'm still dead. At least every now and then I get to feel a little something..."

"What do you feel now?"

"Afraid. Ashamed. Afraid of what I'm doing to others. Ashamed of the things I do. But at least I'm doing these things..." she defended, "It used to be everything just happened to me... I wasn't ever involved...I was a puppet.... I was a dog on a leash... Dragged through the streets.... I don't want to ever not be in control again..."

"You think you have any control, Dorothy? Oh, others are still controlling you... I see you cowering from Escorpion... He controls you! The money...You can't go back to that old apartment, right? The drugs... I don't think you'd make it through the day without your fancy wines and expensive pills!"

"Yes, but I've found my bosses are getting fewer and fewer...."

"What are you going to do when this mission of soul degradation is over? When you're just another one of SCORPIO's cronies? When you find yourself back under their boot heel? What will you do then to keep this 'freedom?' Would you betray everyone you love? Would you kill to maintain your power?"

Dorothy was about to answer when from within the mansion arose a tone deaf rendition of "Auld Lang Syne."

The clock had struck midnight...fireworks tore a gaping hole in the sky. The New Year poured in like a tidal wave...

Dorothy looked into the room from the balcony. Marty walked over and kissed Leslie, the couple stared lovingly into each others eyes. It looked so genuine. It felt so fake.

She stood alone, crying...

"Happy New Year, Dorothy!" emanated from Patina's tinny speakers.

She wiped the tears from her mascara eyes...

"Do you feel any better," he asked.

"Kinda."

"Dorothy... Since we're finally alone...There's something I've been meaning to ask you... Do you remember that dance.... the one where..."

The knife twisted in Dorothy's stomach... She needed more drugs....

"I'm sorry if this is painful..."

"No, go on," She insisted.

"I had Coorgan read me the notes Orion kept. Coded brilliantly I might add... I think he could've actually authored "Punk Rock Dating" himself! The dear boy never gave himself enough credit..."

"But you digress..."

"Yes, yes, but I digress... I think Orion had a plan to give someone he trusted the MP3's of his soul...I've done some independent investigation and I think I've narrowed it down... I think I know who has Orion's soul..."

"Who?" Dorothy momentarily forgot about issues of control, of drinks, of crutches...

"You do..."



Join us tomorrow for...could it be? Could it be the return of Orion? Nawww... but we do have
very special guest, Joan Embry from the San Diego Zoo...